Steps to Forgiveness

Recently on the radio I heard a great teaching on forgiveness by R.T. Kendall. a guest on Focus on the Family.  He has also written two books on the subject, one about forgiving others, and one on forgiving ourselves.  If they’re anything like the radio broadcasts, they should be great!  This is just a brief summary of some points he made which are posted on Focus’ website.  There’s so much more to what he said than this, but I’ll need to listen to the programs again, or read the books, to really have it soak in. 

From Focus on the Family:  “The following is a summary/outline of the points made by guest R.T. Kendall on our radio program “Finding True Forgiveness.”

Seven Steps to Forgiveness

  1. Do not let anyone know what someone said about, or did to you.
  2. Do not allow anyone to be afraid of you or intimidated by you.
  3. Allow them to forgive themselves and not feel guilty.
  4. Let them save face.
  5. Protect them from their darkest secret and greatest fear.
  6. It is a lifelong commitment.
  7. Pray for them to be blessed.

What Forgiveness is Not

  • Approval of what they did.
  • Excusing what they did.
  • Justifying what they did.
  • Pardoning what they did.
  • Reconciliation.
  • Denying what they did.

If only we could follow our Lord’s example on the cross, when He said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing!” (Luke 23:34)  He asks the Father to forgive them, knowing their actions weren’t going to change..soon, or maybe ever…

2 thoughts on “Steps to Forgiveness

  1. Hi! You’re right! The teaching I heard said the same thing you mention in your post; “…when I cannot forgive I keep thinking about the person/people, again and again. Stupid waste of energy! The more so, the only person that will be harmed by my non-forgiving is myself..” So true!

    One of my favourite verses (Eph. 4:32), says
    “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

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